I Hate It!!!!!!!!!

July 7, 2014

I read my manuscript yesterday. The experience was painful. Structurally, the manuscript is a jumble of disconnected parts. Character story arcs wander, and sentence structure is an assault on the English language; I hate every word in it. My loathing is total; I even hate the spaces between the words.

This happened a few times with Marathon Watch. There is no way to describe this experience. It is part self-doubt, and part valid criticism with a healthy dose of anxiety. It is a devastating attack on the ego coupled with recognition that I can do better. 

Echoing in my mind is an article I read years ago to help authors find their “voice.” The article concluded that after an author crossed out everything they loved leaving only what they hate, what remained was their voice. Perhaps I am only reacting to my voice.

Yes, I can do better, and will start with fixing issues with the character arcs.

I’m Back.

July 7, 2014

I went missing since late May. I want to be spending my time writing, but I have consulting clients that need care and feeding. In June, clients called wanting help, and I had to put in over eight hours a day to take care of them. That has not let up until recently.

In the midst of the turmoil, a month went by where I didn’t work a minute on my current novel. This was a disaster. When I forced myself to eke out time for my writing, I discovered I had lost a feeling for my characters, and their story arcs. The lesson I learned here is once I start a project, I have to stay with it, or suffer the consequences. 

Nonetheless, I worked through this and completed my first draft. My next step is to set it aside for a week, then read through it to decide what is next.